I’m Leaving My Next Athletic Goal Up to Chance

• 6 • Motivation, My Running

I’ve run 6 half marathons, and I’ve signed up for my seventh. I’m planning to add another layer to the onion that is my training (healthy, lots of layers, can make you cry… onions seem like the perfect analogy for training, don’t they?). I’m going to try training with a Jack Daniels inspired running plan, running 4-5 days per week and attempting to nail the quality workouts. I’m excited. It seems like a logical progression from the fall, when I trained on a 5 day a week running plan for the first time vs. 3. Now I’ll be adding more specific quality workouts, so I’m targeting quality as well as quantity.

So that’s cool, and I’m thrilled, and I’m signed up for the Maine Coast Shipyard Half Marathon in May.

BUT….

I’d maybe, sort of, possibly, like to do a little more. I’m thrilled to be signing up for another half marathon; being in half marathon shape is one of my favorite things about myself. I feel strong, I feel proud, I feel like I’m someone who endures. I keep going the distance. I love it.

However, I kind of miss that initial feeling of “I’m just in this to FINISH” that I had for my very first half. That feeling that it’s so HYSTERICAL that it’s ME doing it, that I, KELLY CAIAZZO am planning to finish this thing. I don’t feel like it’s that unexpected, hilarious, or epic that I anticipate crossing the finish line anymore. It’s not am I going to cross?! it’s how long is it going to take me this time?

I miss, just a little bit, that feeling of Just keep going and finish and this will be EPIC!!!!

Not enough to sign up for a marathon, which I’m not sure I have time to train for.

But what about another event that I could possibly finish in about 2 or 2 1/2 hours?

What about… a sprint triathalon?

WHAT?! I know. I just typed that. Me. A triathlete? I mean, they put athlete in the name of the EVENT. That should tell you something.

And yet, I love spin class. I look forward to it every week. I biked around Paris last year for hours with a stupid grin on my face, loving every second. I’ve got the running thing down, I know I can do that.

All I have to do is learn to swim freestyle. For 1/3rd of a mile.

I would love to learn to do that. I could absolutely learn to swim freestyle by July, enough to start in the back and make it safely to the end of a sprint triathalon. I would learn something about myself. It would feel epic. I would feel proud. Just crossing the finish line would be enough. It would be an adventure.

So I signed up for the lottery for Maine’s Tri for a Cure. It’s a female only event, and if I don’t get in, I can think about this for another year. But if I DO get in, it’ll be an exciting opportunity, and the fact that I had to enter a lottery to get a chance to register will make it feel extra special, like this is my chance. This is my shot. This is my time to branch out and do something new and exciting and crazy.

I like feeling crazy.

So wish me luck. Either way, it’ll be great to be in good half marathon shape in May. But maybe, just maybe, I’ll be borrowing my mother-in-law’s bicycle and taking up the crawl stroke*, and getting ready for something new, and different, and exciting for July. I wouldn’t do more than one, though. Just one… that would be epic enough….

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*Mom if you’re reading this I promise I will ACTUALLY learn to swim before I attempt this. Like, really well. I’ll get lessons. It will be fine.

In Defense of My Shirt

• 3 • Motivation

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I don’t buy a lot of slogan t-shirts, but this one cracked me up so much that I had to have it to wear to spin class.

But when I showed it to Greg, his initial response was “oh, that’s sad…”

SAD?!

That shirt is HILARIOUS!

Here’s the disconnect.

Greg was picturing someone wearing the shirt and dreading their first 5k or half marathon, not excited about the event they were working towards.

Ok, that’s sad.

But I’m picturing someone pedaling frantically during a twenty second sprint in spin class, or running as fast as they can around a track, thinking “UM, I’m never going to NEED to do this, right?!  This is just for fun-sies? Yes? Aside from being late for a connecting flight, please tell my my ability to do this will never ACTUALLY be needed!”

As in, I’ll never be cycling as fast as I can away from a T-Rex, or sprinting away from zombies pushing the double jogger or something.

I see this shirt, and I think “I don’t know what I’m training for, but I hope like hell I’m never actually in a position where cycling as fast as I can is going to actually be helpful.”

This shirt reminds me that when I push hard during training, it really is above and beyond what I need to be doing for good health, and so therefore it should be fun and not stressful. My health is benefiting just by being out there doing the aerobic exercise in the first place, everything else is a bonus.

UNTIL T-REX ARRIVES AND I HAVE TO RUN FOR MY LIFE!!!!

It’s funny, right?

T-Rex, zombie apocalypse funny?
No?

Funny Running Memory

• 4 • Motivation, My Running

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I was just thinking about the first 5k I ever ran with the double jogging stroller. I ran at 10:13 pace, so was towards the back of the pack, but certainly not last.

At about mile 2 I rounded a corner and went by a police officer and race volunteer, gave them a little wave and thank you, and kept going.

As I was lifting my hand to wave, the police officer looked at me and the stroller, looked back at the volunteer, and said “So, that’s probably it then?”

Not able to see around the corner, he assumed that the mother runner pushing two kids HAD to be the tail end of the race.

I came in 57th out of 101 people. That officer had to stand there JUST a bit longer.

Now, it’s totally possible that I was overhearing a snippet of conversation out of context. But I think he genuinely thought I had to be one of the last runners.

The thrill of this story isn’t that I was faster than the people behind me, it’s that I surprised him by what I was capable of. He didn’t know what pace I was running, he just assumed the kids would slow me down to match the runners at the end of the race, not in the middle.

It feels good to surprise someone with what you’re capable of.

I hope you have a happy memory of surprising yourself or someone else with what you’ve achieved through your running, and I’d love to hear about it in the comments below 🙂

Talk Yourself into Running in Cooler Weather

• 2 • Motivation

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It’s coming. Winter running season.

When I head out to warm up for my run, I mean it literally.

It’s harder to get out the door this time of year, there’s no question of that. But the benefits to running outdoors are possibly even greater come the cooler months, when we might not get outside otherwise. We’re relying on those cool-weather runs for our sunlight-driven Vitamin D stores, and it just feels so good to get outside when we might not otherwise.

I crave feeling of freedom I get from heading outside for a cool weather run after spending a larger percentage of my day trapped indoors.

So do it; talk yourself into getting out there for a run, even though you know those first 5, 10, 15 minutes will be tough.

Sometimes when I’m having trouble getting out the door, I talk to myself like I’m an over-enthusiastic outdoorsy friend who can’t wait to get outside.

Come on! You’ll feel warm less than a mile in. It’ll be great. The trails will be empty. The ground is finally hard, no mud on the brook path! It’s so nice not to get over-heated on a run. I just love seeing the landscape transform with the seasons. Let’s see who’s taken down their Halloween decorations! You don’t have to run nearly as far in this weather to feel accomplished. Just getting out for 3 miles when the ground is frosted over makes you a total achiever. Let’s GOOOOO! Wait, is it going to get dark while we’re out there? How awesome! We can try that running headlamp. This will be GEAR-TASTICK. No one will doubt our serious adventurousness now. We need these endorphins, the busy holiday season is coming up. Let’s spend the entire time thinking about PIE! I love pie. We need to head out on this run so we have time to think in peace and quiet about types of pie. We have to plan pie season. You know what puts you in the mood for pie? Running in the freezing cold. YEAH!

I don’t know how well this strategy works, but I enjoy brainstorming feeble reasons why running in 28 degree weather is going to be totally awesome.

If you’re thinking ridiculously over-optimistic thoughts, your brain isn’t going through the litany of reasons why you’d rather stay inside where it’s warm and get something else done. Just keeping your brain away from those thoughts while you’re getting dressed can really help.

The more times you power through your “don’t feel like it” urge to stay home, the stronger your “get out the door” muscle will get, and it’ll be reinforced by how good you feel each time you come back from that run.

Happy running, you gear-tastick adventurous non-overheating runner, you.

Gratitude vs. Determination; Finding the Right Mindset for Running

• 2 • 13.1 Training, Motivation
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Chooie by Richard Walker / CC 2.0

I see my running coach Jake on Tuesdays, and before we do any strength training, we sit and talk about running. How my week went, how I’m feeling physically, how I’m feeling emotionally.

At one point yesterday, he told me that the fastest races he has ever run were ones where he ran with gratitude in his heart, and a feeling that running was fun. 

When a determined mindset made me run faster: I remember the first 5k I ran in under 30 minutes; I psyched myself up, I tried to trick myself into believing I could do it, I set out at the starting line with grim determination planning to conquer any pain necessary to cross that finish line in under 30. I did. It wasn’t very much fun.

When enjoyment made me run faster: Contrast that to my second half marathon, where I somehow went from 11:09 pace for a half marathon in September down to 10:30 pace in November, with only a handful of long runs in between. I had a huge improvement in pace, and it wasn’t because of confidence or determination; it was because that second half marathon was fun. I met up with Tony unexpectedly, we had a very similar pace, and talking with him on the course distracted me from any discomfort.

Pain can also be overcome by positive emotions, not just sheer force of determination and willpower.

Gratitude: Gratitude is one of those words that earns the occasional eye-roll. I have read about people who do daily gratitude practices, and this just doesn’t work well for me. When I practice gratitude, I start thinking about the flip side… like what if I had unhealthy children, or lived in a violent neighborhood, or struggled to make mortgage payments. Thinking about things in a grateful way makes me feel sorrow for those who do not have the things I’m grateful for. I end gratitude practices feeling sadness, guilt, anger, worry, and almost zero positive emotions. Unless I am in activist mode, I prefer not to experience these negative thoughts.

That said, I feel a great deal of gratitude lining up at the start line of all of my races.

It was such a crazy, insane deal when I first started Couch to 5k, and then when I first dreamed of doing the 13.1 distance. I still remember how insane and how crazy it was when I first thought to myself spectating the Chilly Half Marathon “I’m going to run this next year.”

It still feels like a practical joke on all the other runners that I’m there, too.

I do feel grateful. I feel joy. I feel pride.

These are emotions that will cause me to surge forward when that hill at mile 10 is making my calves scream.

Not determination. Determination is driven by fear of failure. Fear and doubt make you listen to your calves, analyze your fatigue, pay attention to the miles, second-guess whether you can maintain pace x, y, or z. It might work well for some people, but I am starting to question whether I’m one of them.

Gratitude means whatever pace you run up that hill is good enough, which may free you to actually run faster. It means remembering that this is fun, and you’re happy to be here, and you’re going to enjoy the challenge of that hill because you will feel strong and amazing when you make it to the top. You’re not afraid of what that hill will do to your arbitrary pace goal, you’re excited to conquer it.

You can still have a goal: I’m not saying you can’t also pace yourself and use a GPS watch during a race; but even as you’re checking splits, keeping yourself from going out too fast, following a strategy, do it with a playful mindset. Think about how it’s fun to see what happens with this strategy. Think about how excited you are to be running this race, how grateful you are for the training that got you here and now ready to attempt this goal. Be excited that you’re in this amazing moment attempting to reach your time goal.

It’s possible that you’ll run faster with a light, joyful, playful heart than you could with determination.

It certainly makes for a more enjoyable race.

How do you psych yourself up to run your best?