Reminder: your kids are watching

• 1 • Live Well, Parenting

Andrew got up this morning and after making his usual oatmeal he staged it to look pretty and then photographed it before eating. Now, where do you think he learned to do THAT?! 😂 (Hint, follow me on Instagram to see his inspiration.)

As cute as his banana blueberry oatmeal is, it was a chilling reminder that our children watch and imitate us because not all my habits are cute.

A reminder to be mindful of what we do and say and prioritize, how we handle frustration, how often we are present vs distracted.

I love posting food photos because it’s fun and inspires plant-based eating, but seeing my 6 year old photograph his food before he ate it felt a little… weird? I hope that he knows that I make healthy and delicious food for my family because I love them and want to nurture them as my first priority, and not just because it photographs well for Instagram.

It was a blatant reminder that my kids see and learn from everything I do. Sometimes, that’s wonderful. I’ve written before on the blog about how much I love setting an example for my kids when it comes to prioritizing fitness and competing against myself and not others. But they’re not just watching the awesome things we do, they’re learning from us when we’re irritated breaking up a sibling squabble or on our phones at the dinner table, too.

So. Adorable banana blueberry oatmeal that my child is confident enough to prepare for himself and proud enough of to photograph. And a gentle reminder to be the parents we want to be as often as possible because the most important people in the world aren’t just watching, they’re learning.

Get together with your friends. Seriously.

• 0 • Live Well

Our entire Friday morning playgroup from when the kids were toddlers reunited for a coffee this morning!

One of our best with the brightest smile and most contagious laugh moves back to Ireland this summer. It was such a joyful morning but in the silence that followed the tears finally came. A good reminder to gather often with friends.

Don’t wait until you’re not busy or the counters are clutter free.

Just put on the coffee and send out the email. Sure, I did more than that today because it was special, but we didn’t back then. All that ever mattered was a place to be together with friends who laugh and don’t judge through all the stages of parenting and life. 💕

I remember seeing a graphic representation estimating how many more times someone would do certain things in their life. How many more times, in a grid of dots, would they see the ocean? Their parents? How could you increase the number of dots for the important things? Those pictures stuck with me and influenced our decision to spend more time near the kids’ grandparents during the summer.

I wonder how many dots I will have in my life for the number of times I put a sticky note like this on my front door.

There have been a lot, and I hope there will be so many more.

Last August, I wrote a truly lovely and hilarious daydream of what I would do this year now that the kids are finally in school.

It will dismay but perhaps not surprise you that most of it didn’t happen. But I did go out to dinner with friends, and to the movies, and out for lunch. We did make guacamole and white bean dip and have couples over on Memorial Day, and while that’s not a dip-extravaganza, it was a great time.

And when I look at that list, I don’t regret the times my kids got dressed out of the dryer anywhere near as much as I wish I’d hosted that monthly dinner party.

So. What have I learned?

I never regret the time I make to be with friends and family, even if it means store-bought popcorn and crossing my fingers no one goes upstairs because the kids’ rooms are a disaster.

Add more dots to your page of times you’ll see people who make you laugh and feel understood, and who bring over their adorable dog.

 

Snow Day Traditions

• 1 • Live Well, Parenting

I grew up in Maine, and we had our share of snow days. Back then you had to listen to the radio or watch the scrolling cancellations at the bottom of your television to find out if there was school. I remember lying in my bed listening carefully for the G’s, on red alert after they said “Gardiner”, hoping Gorham would be next.

On snow days we liked to start the day on the couch in pajamas drinking hot chocolate watching Kevin Mannix discuss how much snow we were going to get. If he was wearing a sweater, it meant it was a serious storm.

Nostalgia has me wondering what my kids’ memories will be.

Which snow day rituals will stand out?

They love snow days so much it’ll be hard for them to pick.

And I love little rituals that make life feel special, so we’ve given them a lot to choose from.

I love bringing them to the library the day before an anticipated snow day so there’s plenty of new reading material.

I love telling them they can wear their pajamas all day on snow days… even if a friend comes over.

I love watching them play outside, and going for a family walk down the snowy street on the snow days when Greg is home.

I love watching family documentaries together in the afternoon (Blue Planet II is amazing), or building a fire and playing crazy eights, spoon, or 21 while Greg and I enjoy a nice bottle of wine.

I’m oddly bad at remembering to make hot chocolate.

All these rituals give my kids something to look forward to for snow days beyond “no school”. Snow days aren’t just exciting for them because of the absence of rushing out the door in the morning or sitting through writer’s workshop. Snow days mean the presence of all these beautiful and fun family events that they look forward to.

And the more library visits, pajama mornings, snow forts and afternoon card games we have… the more likely it is that those will be their cherished and beloved snow day memories.

Like our peaceful mornings growing up cuddled on the couch watching the snow fall while Kevin Mannix made projections in his sweater.

My Life is Full

• 1 • Live Well

I read an anecdote somewhere, ages ago, about someone who ran into an acquaintance at the gym. After exchanging the usual pleasantries, the person started talking about how busy they were and all the things they had to do that day and how crazy it all was.

The acquaintance smiled and said, “it sounds like your life is really full right now – that’s wonderful”. Or some such thing.

Lately, my life has been full, too.

If this story makes you want to indulge in a primal scream, maybe your life is too full and something needs to go. How can you take it a bit easier? What can you drop from your schedule or to-do list? How can you prepare for the weeks ahead so the “full” days feel full and not overwhelming?

I don’t have answers, but I like the idea of chasing the emotional state where a busy day can feel full and not busy.

(Or… maybe half full? I could be a cup half-full person 😉

Thoughts on The New Yorker Article “Improving Ourselves to Death”

• 1 • Live Well

I read an article a friend shared today from the New Yorker titled “Improving Ourselves to Death: What the self-help gurus and their critics reveal about our times” by Alexandra Schwartz.

It reminded me a little of the backlash against parenting books. I know parents who are so overwhelmed by the sheer quantity of “expert” parenting advice (much of it contradicting other “expert” advice) that they give up on any parenting books whatsoever and rely entirely on their own intuition.

But that’s a lonely road, and it can keep us from discovering ideas and resources that could really help us.

So I resist an all-or-nothing mentality grouping us into either in favor of or against the self-help movement or endless shelves of parenting advice.

Some parenting books have literally changed my life, and so have some self-help books (like the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People). Eileen

If we take the good advice in this article to avoid feeling pressured by the sum of all the advice and books out there, we can use the books as a menu of ideas rather than a checklist of obligations. Then we’ll have resources for when we really would be happier if we made more efficient To-Do lists and some author has a strategy that might work well for us.

We can scour the shelves for ideas to solve problems we actually have, rather than, a concern posed by the article, using books to convince ourselves we have problems that we really don’t.

We don’t have to choose between our own intuition and the advice on bookshelves. We can use our intuition to help us navigate the information out there and try strategies that resonate with us. Berate the self-help sections all you want, but I love my running drawer when it’s folded using the kon-mari folding method, and when my kids started sleeping through the night because we got the information we needed to break their sleep associations it was game-changing for our entire family.

It’s not all or nothing. There are great ideas out there, and when you want to improve something, there’s no harm in seeing what others have done that’s been successful and deciding for yourself whether you want to try it.

In other cool news – my favorite nutrition expert Dr. Greger was on Live with Kelly and Ryan! Check it out 🙂