Early Morning Bike Ride

Spotted these beautiful deer yesterday morning going for a bike ride just after day-break. No filter, the ferns really were that vibrant shade because of the sun’s harsh angle in the early morning.

It was a wonderful ride.

Peaceful. Still. Very few cars on the road.

There are moments, when I’m watching deer eat their breakfast, or flying down a hill past sunlit groves and river bends, that I wonder if I ever would have found this if I hadn’t had my children so close together. If I hadn’t hit a low point during that crazy period in my life when I had two children under the age of two, 5 different scheduled naps a day between them, and never, ever enough sleep… would I have ever decided to do Couch to 5k?

Would I have stuck with running afterwards, if the relationship between exercise and how patient and happy I am as a parent wasn’t so evident and important?

The biggest challenge in my life required me to make the biggest transformation.

And now, here I am, joyfully cycling through the peaceful early morning.

Kindergarten! And The Buddy Bench.

Will started Kindergarten!!!

He loves it.

We were having dinner after his second day and Will asked me what my favorite thing was.

“Person, or thing?”

“Thing,” he said.

“Umm, my bicycle. What’s yours?”

Pause. Smile. “Kindergarten.”

I’m so happy about how much he loves kindergarten I could cry. It helps that he’s older for his year (he turns 6 less than a month after the age cut off) and that he had three amazing years at a nurturing and wonderful preschool first.

Here’s another good story…

The Buddy Bench

Yesterday Will came home so excited because he’d made a new kindergarten friend. He’d been going over to sit on the “buddy bench” where you sit if you don’t have a buddy to play with and are looking for one. Someone was already there, so he asked them to play and they “did as much as they could together for the rest of the day!”

I think we need to bring this buddy bench concept everywhere. Cocktail parties. Congress.

I love the buddy bench.

Hope you’re having a wonderful transition into fall, whatever that means for you and your family – whether it’s back to school, or cooler weather for your morning runs! 

Beware False Dichotomies

I’m doing a yoga book club right now and we’re reading The Joy Diet by Martha Beck (which I highly recommend). Yesterday we talked about false dichotomies.

A false dichotomy is a choice between two things when in reality, you may not need to choose, or there may be additional alternatives. Sometimes we get stuck in our thinking and force ourselves to choose between two things that we want, when if we thought more creatively we might find ways to do both.

In order to problem solve, though, we first need to admit to ourselves the possibility that we don’t have to choose.

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False Dichotomy: I can either train for this triathlon that I’m so excited about, or I can have a clean house and be a great mother to my kids.

Step one: swap out the “or”. To get to a problem solving state and acknowledge the false dichotomy, I can switch the language around.

Revised Sentence: I will train for this triathlon that I’m so excited about, and have a clean house and be a great mother to my kids.

Once I’ve shifted the language to reflect my desire to do both and acknowledge it as a possibility, I’m ready to brainstorm creative solutions to the problem. Martha Beck suggests in chapter 4 of the Joy Diet that I come up with at least 20, no matter how crazy, even if they’re immoral or illegal. Rather than risk being quoted out of context saying I plan to hire a personal chef and get an au pair, I’ll give some of my more reasonable examples below.

Ideas for achieving both triathlon training AND a clean house and happy kids:

Bring out the jogging stroller again and take the kids to the playground in it

Put half the toys in the attic so it’s easier for the kids to clean up after themselves

Order take-out

Meal plan and use grocery delivery more often to save time

Hire a babysitter more often

Hire a babysitter who will organize toys

Stop checking social media on my phone 48 times a day to avoid unpleasant and tedious chores like dishes / laundry

Bring the kids to the track with a soccer ball and let them play while I do track repeats

Meet a friend at the pool who has kids that are friends with my kids so they look forward to using the gym’s play-space together

Get up an hour earlier and train then

Summer camp

Get the kids outside more so they’re not messing up indoors

Spend a week re-focusing on having the kids clean up one toy before they get out another one

Go to the pool after the kids are in bed one night a week

Create a bin of special toys that the kids can only use when I’m on the treadmill / stationary bike


Reading through all these ideas, I see some themes that will really help me achieve both of my desires. Planning meals and opportunities to train, reducing the number of toys and craft supplies the kids have access to so they could realistically clean up after themselves, getting more outdoor time for the kids (which keeps the house neater), and finding times to work out that aren’t always coming from the time I would be spending with my kids.

I love hanging out with my kids in the backyard, or cooking with them. I don’t love spending two hours every afternoon wandering around the house picking up marbles and stuffed animals and craft supplies.

These are things I can work on.

While training for a sprint triathlon is time consuming, it’s also doable. My workouts are usually less than an hour each day. That’s like having a lunch break. One hour a day shouldn’t suddenly mean that I can’t spend enough time with my children or keep my house clean.

So maybe the triathlon isn’t the real problem here, or the biggest one, or the best thing to change if I’m going to solve the problem that every day at 5 p.m. I’m not sure what’s for dinner and my living room looks like a craft store got hit by a cyclone. That isn’t because I went to the pool from 9 a.m. to 10 a.m.

Acknowledging the false dichotomy makes me more honest about the other 11 hours I spend not training, and figuring out how to make those hours solve the problem rather than thinking I need to give up what I really love in order to have the lifestyle I really want.

Washable Markers – A Beautiful Parenting Moment

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I was in the middle of making lunch, when my kids came running over to me with a box of markers.

“MOM! Mom. What does this say?”

“Ultra-clean washable markers.”

“What is the picture of the hands and t-shirt for?”

“It means it washes off hands or clothes.”

Interjection: Yes, I’m an idiot parent. When you’re asked a question every 2 minutes 9 hours a day, sometimes you don’t fully process the implication of what you’re being asked.

10 minutes later

“Lunch is ready!!!  OH. Oh my word. Ok. Umm….”

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Yeah.

I did. I did say they were washable.

As I stood in front of my 4 year old, mouth hanging open, he said two very important things.

“Well, you said they were washable!” Then he shrugged with a little smile and said “You still love me.” It wasn’t a question.

And in that moment, I felt like maybe, just maybe, I’m actually nailing this parenting thing.

Yes, I’m sort of an idiot for not seeing this one coming. Yes, they kind of suspected this wasn’t a good idea and then they did it anyway.

BUT…

My kids assessed risk, and my four year old knew that even though I didn’t like the choice he made I love him anyway.

When I asked my four year old about it at bedtime, he said “I just remembered that you say you will love me forever no matter what. So I knew.”

If I keep telling him, will it stick in his brain when he’s in middle school?

A teenager?

An adult?

Will a little voice in his head remind him that Mom and Dad will love him forever no matter what, and if he makes a choice we don’t like, he can tell us and we’ll help him?

I hope so.

I hope they always read the back of the box of markers, and I hope they always remember that I’ll still love them… even if they kind of knew they weren’t supposed to do something. That’s a much more important lesson than “markers are for coloring on paper”.

And yes, the markers ARE washable.

Healthy School Lunch Ideas

I remember when my oldest first started preschool lunch-bunch. He was going once a week, and I would prepare these elaborate, cute, pinterest-like lunches such as whole wheat pizza dough wrapped soy-dogs or mini-burritos.

Yeah.

It wasn’t sustainable, as you’re probably guessing. It only takes a few weeks of these gourmet lunches coming home only partially eaten to realize that it’s more efficient to make the special and exciting meals when your kid can eat them hot out of the oven in your presence, not pick at them when the food is room temperature and they’re distracted by their peers.

My new lunch-bunch philosophy is this: pack something easy, fast, and kid friendly.

My go-to lunch bunch ideas:

Fruit: They’ll eat it, and it’s fast. I love things I don’t even need to cut, like grapes or blueberries that can just be washed and are kid-friendly and ready to go. They’ll sometimes eat a whole fruit like an apple or banana, but eat more apple slices if I cut them.

Vegetables: I pack the ones they like the best. I basically rotate between carrot sticks, snow peas, red pepper (for my oldest only), cucumber. I sometimes put in one small piece of raw broccoli, which occasionally gets nibbled. I used to try to pack more creative vegetable options, but they weren’t getting eaten. It’s better for them to have some favorites they’ll actually eat.

Hummus / bean dip: They make kids more likely to eat the vegetables, because they can dip them, and they’re a good source of protein. If you can get your kid to eat white or black bean dip as well as hummus, you’ll have some nice options to rotate between. Make a large enough batch so it can be part of your lunch, too!

Crackers: I look for ones with high fiber and the lowest possible amounts of added sodium, sugar and oil. I would love to say I avoid processed foods entirely, but having a box of crackers and hummus in the fridge can make lunch packing SO much easier, and the kids love eating crackers. I look for triscuit type shredded wheat crackers with the least number of ingredients.

Sunflower butter sandwiches: The bread you pick can make a huge difference in the nutritional profile here. I try to find breads that have at least 3 grams of fiber per slice, and limited added sugar. Ezekiel bread is a good option, and Eureka makes a fantastic soft sandwich bread with 5 grams of fiber per slice. Sunflower butter is our school option because it’s a nut-free preschool. Oh She Glows has a great recipe for chia seed jam; if you don’t like the amount of sugar in the preserves/jam options at the store, this is a good way to add the healthy fiber and omega-3s of chia while controlling the amount of sugar in your kids’ sandwich. http://ohsheglows.com/2012/06/26/magical-blueberry-vanilla-chia-seed-jam/ It’s more work, but it can be done in advance, and then you have chia jam for your weekend pancakes… which is AMAZING.

Dried fruit: Great source of quick energy and kids love it. I try to buy unsulphered dried fruit and watch for the added sugar; companies do it because a) it tastes good which sells, and b) it’s a way to add inexpensively weight. My kids love raisins, dried cranberries, dried mango, dried pineapple and dried papaya. One of them will even eat dried goji berries, which are a really anti-oxidant rich food. These make a great sweet dessert-like item and add some condensed calories for fast energy if you have a kid that sometimes gets distracted and doesn’t eat enough at school.

Oat and seed granola bars: I need to get back into doing this, but we would sometimes make homemade granola bars and send those as part of lunch. They’re fun to make, and you can usually substitute any nut ingredients with seed ingredients to make them school friendly. Check out this awesome post from Oh She Glows with 21 snack recipes for school: http://ohsheglows.com/2014/08/26/back-to-school-21-portable-allergy-friendly-snack-recipes-vegan-gluten-free-with-nut-free-options/

Things I’ve stopped sending:

Burritos. They were coming home uneaten, and the thought of all the rice on the preschool carpet made me feel a bit guilty. Plus, I LOVE eating burritos, so I’d rather serve them to the kids when I’m there to eat them, too.

Pasta / Soup / Thermos foods: I love the idea of my four year old opening a warm, savory soup on a cold winter day at preschool. But they’re hit or miss on eating some of this stuff at home. Send it to school and it seems to come back. When they’re older I’d love to reintroduce more options, but right now they only have lunch bunch twice a week, and tend to eat the most when I send finger foods that they like.

Final thoughts:

I used to try to send more balanced lunches than I do now. I have started focusing on getting the healthiest calories my kids will reliably consume into them. If that means I send two kinds of fruit and no veggies one day, maybe that’s o.k. and I can put a vegetable bean soup on the table for dinner. Some days I send them a lunch I know will tide them over, and then plan to feed them immediately after they get home instead of a few hours later.

Check the lunchbox: Our school has a carry in/carry out policy that I love. Their trash comes home with them (for allergy reasons) so I get to see how much they eat each day. I try to check as soon as they get home, so I know if one of them didn’t eat much lunch. Then I can troubleshoot and figure out if they weren’t hungry then, needed more time, or didn’t like what I packed. Giving them more time to eat once they get home is sometimes all it takes. The days I forget to do this, I sometimes have a kid who is melting down at 4 p.m. and I belatedly realize it’s because they haven’t eaten enough over the course of the day. It’s good info to have! If your school doesn’t send trash home, you could always ask your kid to bring it back. It’s easier for them than walking to the trash can, so they might be more than happy to oblige you.

Another resource:

Vegan Lunch Box is a book of vegan (and sometimes whole foods based) lunches. Author Jennifer McCann started a blog and posted every day about what she sent to school in her vegan son’s lunch box, and then compiled the most loved recipes into a book. It has lots of ideas, and I’ll definitely be referencing it again once my kids are eating lunch five days a week at school and rotating my small set of selections is no longer viable.

Thoughts? Brilliant strategies for packing healthy, awesome lunches?