Send me your questions / blog post requests! First, a little business. You may have noticed that I’m posting more frequently than usual; I’ve decided to participate in #NaBloPoMo, a November event where bloggers post every day during November. It’s a fun opportunity to post about things that interest me but might not make the cut if I’m only posting 3 times a week. It also means my editorial calendar is more flexible, and I’d love to hear from you about what types of posts you enjoy!
What would you like me to write more about? Running motivation? Race strategy? Nutrition? Parenting? Recipes? Any running questions burning in the back of your mind that you’d like answered? I’m happy to do the research and report back to you in a post! Comment below or send me an e-mail to kelly at iamrunningthis (dotcom).
And now…. super cute kids in a wagon!
As parents, we have the power to make the day wonderful for our children:
Parenting is tough. It’s so easy to get caught in a downward spiral of nagging and frustration.
I am always amazed by how wonderful our day can be when I keep calm and take the (substantial) time to gently work through all the little upsets and mishaps and squabbles the kids have. I notice a huge change in my kids when I take the time to actively listen when there are conflicts, comfort both participants, and avoid blaming and shaming.
Time is an issue: It’s hard to take the time to do it when you’re trying to get them out the door to preschool or swim class. It’s easier to hustle them into their jackets and plop them in the car still whining because 15 minutes of conflict resolution and cuddling will mean you miss half of swim class. (Which will upset them even more…) What I want to work on is taking time whenever it IS possible, and doing my best to at least remain calm and assure them we’ll work things out later when I don’t have time to fully resolve their problem in the moment.
Daylight savings to the rescue! Luckily for me, it was daylight savings time last weekend! Suddenly, the kids are up almost an hour earlier than normal, and I have plenty of time to get them ready for preschool in the morning. That meant that today, I had the time to make sure it was a great morning. I practiced being the type of parent I want to be. It took some extra time, but it was faster in some ways, too. When my 5 year old feels listened to and respected and not blamed (even when he just walked off with his brother’s lunch box while his brother was screaming “don’t take it DON’T TAKE IT” because he wanted to be ‘helpful’) then he is much more likely to run off and get dressed by himself when asked. He’s likely to assist rather than resist during the whole getting ready process, and that is a huge time saver.
We ended up having a great morning, despite many little upsets. I stirred the 3 year old’s oatmeal when he wanted to, recovery time: 5 minutes. The 5 year old tried to pack the 3 year old’s lunch for him, recovery time, 3 minutes. And so on. But we made it through with no yelling, the 3 year old helped peel the cucumber, they washed their own faces, and we left early enough to ride in the wagon all the way to school and still be on time.
Here’s the hope: by putting in the time this week, when they’re getting up earlier than normal, once they adjust to the time change they’ll be more used to having positive, peaceful mornings and things will continue to go smoothly.
It’s not easy – but it’s worth it. I feel wonderful about the way I took time for them and regulated my emotions all morning to keep from acting frustrated.
Check out this fabulous parenting resource: ahaparenting.com by Dr. Laura Markham
The inspiration for all this was attending a lecture the night before given by Dr. Laura Markham. She runs the website ahaparenting.com, and is a parenting expert whose publications include an entire book on sibling rivalry. (YES!)
Dr. Markham’s site has many resources. For some similar material to the lecture that inspired me so much last night to work on my parenting this morning, you can check out these articles:
How to Intervene in a Sibling Fight
How to Prevent Sibling Fighting
5 Ways to Help Children Develop Emotional Intelligence Skills Every Day
Should You Make Your Child Apologize
Practicing Good Parenting: Good parenting requires practice. Every time I read a great article about parenting or attend a lecture, it renews my energy to put the effort in to be the best possible parent I can be. I always want that, but attending a lecture or reading a chapter of a parenting book helps me focus in on specific parenting tools, strategies, or mindsets I want to embody.
Every time I go to one of these lectures, I’m like the most amazing parent ever… for about a week. Then things trickle off a little. I get snippy when we’re rushing out the door and they’re not helping for the fourth time in a row. I don’t prioritize pre-emptively setting the kids up for success by getting them their snack on time or making sure there’s enough laundry clean so they can easily find their outfits when I ask them. I start to slide a little, and a little more… and next thing you know it I’m yelling “DON’T KICK YOUR BROTHER!!!” and checking the clock to see WHEN ON EARTH IT WILL BE BEDTIME. It stinks. These are wonderful little people, and there are things I can do to make our home a really fun place. I just have to prioritize them, remember them, and be a consistently mindful parent.
Idea: What if I kept my good parenting practice alive by trying to read a refresher article each week? By reflecting on my parenting practice more regularly? I’m not saying dedicate an hour each Friday to re-reading parenting books (although that would be awesome) but taking some quiet moments to reflect and notice how I’m doing as a parent. Time to recall to my mind all the parenting strategies I’ve learned that make a huge difference in my children’s day when I practice them.
Maybe once a week I read an article from ahaparenting, or even just skim through the chapter titles of my favorite parenting book, or reflect on what was hard about parenting yesterday and how I might change my own behavior to make it better next time.
It’s worth putting in the time and the effort to be the kind of parent I want to be. Mindful, calm, connected, empathetic more often than rushed, hurried, dismissive, frustrated. I want to switch my adjectives around, and it’ll mean a time investment, but it’s one that will pay off when they’re able to play together more peacefully and aren’t so attention hungry they can’t handle having me leave the room to switch laundry.
But most importantly,
They’re worth it.
Yes too all – Running motivation, race strategy, nutrition, parenting (even though my kids are all grown up, I still like to hear about yours) and recipes.
I’ve already asked you a ton of running questions, but if I think of any more, I’ll be sure to email. : )
Awesome, thanks Mair!